(whatever that means)
As I approach the tail end of this pregnancy,
there have been a few recurring thoughts coming up about the whole experience.
And for memory’s sake, I better point them down.
~ ~ ~
➼ Feeling her movements and wiggles will probably be what I will miss the most; it’s a strange but comforting sensation having a tiny human stretching and kicking inside you, the ultimate proof a life growing in there.
➼ From time to time, the fear of not being a good enough parent nearly paralyses me. There are many areas in my life where failing happens and although I get ashamed of it, after a certain point it doesn’t make me lose much sleep. But this, this does. The failure at parenting is very likely the kind of accomplishment/ambition I dread the most.
➼ You never realise how much effort you actually employ at seemingly simple tasks as rolling in bed or just getting up before being pregnant. It’s pretty obvious now the amount of muscles and strength your body dispenses in these and other daily movements.
➼ I’m a heavy sleeper and it used to be quite rare to have a bad night of interrupted sleep (which would usually be triggered by stress and anxiety)… but not anymore. The need to change sides then and again has single-handedly overturned that situation. Probably my body’s way of preparing me for those sleepless nursing nights.
➼ Really curious about meeting our girl and getting to know her newborn features. Afraid of the rush of love we might succumb to or, in a way scarier scenario, feeling not loved up enough after the baby arrives.
Guessing these and many other fears or complaints are more than common so I’m simply focusing on what’s ahead and getting a positive spin into everything. In two weeks or less (2!), she will finally be here with Us. A few good changes have been happening lately and I just want to think they are a sign of better times to come, baby girl included.