It’s been a long, long while.
And I miss it.
I miss a varied number of things, mostly to let go of this breathing underwater feeling.
The portrait challenge had a good run but I’ve skipped over so many weeks, it seems pointless to go on just to say I got to the end without really fully completing it. Maybe this speaks to the perfectionist streak in me but I can never do things half-heartedly and that is probably why so many projects are left open-ended, in progress.
It’s been crazy at times around here, others busily stagnant, with a routine that doesn’t add much and yet keeps your hands so full. I feel overflowing without being able to reach and hold the cup steady. Always a wave away from having said cup runneth over.
We have moved house, again. It was a sudden, heart-breaking, numb process but we came through and are slowly getting back on our feet – with our rules, our own set of expectations and aspirations.
Alice has stopped using her pacifier, changed from crib to a toddler bed (by her own accord) and is about to start – daycare! After over a year and a half, it is enough. Not only for my sanity but also – and mostly – hers. All kids should experience diverse interactions but this kid really needs them. She blossoms in social situations, loves meeting other kids, and at an age where development is galloping, it would be foolish and selfish to keep her to myself when it’s no longer serving a greater purpose, meaning neither of us is taking all the best that we can and deserve to get. That is why I am also eager for this change because it means free time to refocus on the goals and other changes this mom needs for both herself and this family.
I miss photographing.
I miss writing.
I miss dancing.
I miss creating.
I miss being more
instead of just
Welcome back to a restart.